|
|
|
|
How's Your Success Identity Working?
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“We believe in a personal, unique and separate identity – but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our ‘biography,’ our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cards….It is on their fragile and transient support that we rely for our security. So when they are all taken away, will we have any idea of who we really are?
Without our familiar props, we are faced with just ourselves, a persona we do not know, an unnerving stranger with whom we have been living all the time but we never really wanted to meet. Isn’t that why we have tried to fill every moment of time with noise and activity, however boring or trivial, to ensure that we are never left in silence with this stranger on our own?”
Sogyal Rinpoche
I don’t feel the need to comment here. As I often counsel in these situations, you might find great value in re-reading the quote.
The recently published book, Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Lives: Defining Moments, includes a chapter by yours truly about my personal journey around the issue of identity.
The book has real life and very revealing stories from 39 other amazing men. We are not commonly known for self-disclosure, especially about personal struggles, deep concerns and vulnerabilities. Male public-disclosure is even more rare. This men's anthology offers a broad spectrum of authentic accounts of facing and ultimately surmounting major life challenges, adversities, and even intense pain. It’s a great book for men (including teenagers) and for women who want to better understand men.
If you’d like a copy (or more), just email me: robert@ExtraordinaryPeople.com and give me a snail mail address. I’ll e mail you an invoice you can pay by credit card for $19.95. I’ll pay the tax, domestic shipping and handling if you order before February 25th. International shipping is an additional $8.00. If you feel the book might be of value, do it now.
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. comments always welcome
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Are You Learning?
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."
Benjamin Franklin
I've again picked up and am reading The Compleated (sic) Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin -- and yes, I have the bad habit of reading three or more books at a time! This version is about the last 30 years of Franklin's life ... his service to the American Revolution including being Ambassador to France.
What an amazing person! A polymath, a successful small businessman, a practical statesman and an incomparable cynic and wit. Plus, he had the intelligence to anticipate my desire for a Founding Father to sell the need for my products and services!
Beyond my attempts at being witty, I believe so strongly that in times of great change we must continue to invest in knowledge. As an old friend is fond of saying, "the future is not the same anymore." This argues for life-long learning, growth and re-invention.
Let us know what you are learning by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ordinary or Extraordinary? It's a choice ... YOUR choice!
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.”
Elbert Hubbard
Given my focus on that word EXTRAORDINARY … of course I’d be attracted to this quote!
I love the idea … though if Elbert Hubbard were alive today, I believe he’d include women.
I’ve spent the past thirty years of my life looking at the distinction between ordinary and extraordinary performance for men and women. Essentially, it seems the choice to claim an extraordinary life releases all the energy you need and creates the circumstances supportive of your vision.
So how about it? Will you choose to be extraordinary?
Let us know about your inflection points, your struggles, your realizations about living an extraordinary life at http://www.ExtraordinaryPeople.com/blog
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. Your friends, relatives and colleagues might benefit from these weekly reminders of timeless wisdom. Please forward this message to them with the suggestion they subscribe at http://www.ExtraordinaryPeople.com As a welcome gift, the 21 page report “Simple Truths and Enduring Values” will be sent immediately.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Success Requires Telling the Truth
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
"No man sets aside his old ways to seek the new until he personally feels the need for it. This is why all the great teachers urge men to see the awful condition they are actually in, rather than living by pretty words and non-existent ideals. Talking about love and peace when neither love nor peace is in their hearts is a cunning and destructive evasion of the facts."
Vernon Howard
Last week's Extraordinary Minute on "firing some friends" generated many responses – some very positive and some "interesting." I have a feeling this one might do the same.
Vernon Howard's very direct words say it all for me and my suggestion is that you read it again. There's not much I could say that would amplify an already powerful thought.
Comment please by clicking below.
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Is It Time to Fire a Few Friends?
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
I feel so blessed to have good friends whom I know are consistently authentic. I believe they feel the same about me.
I’ve mentioned before of my appreciation for the friendship and coaching of Dr. Bob Wright. http://www.WrightLeadership.com One of my many learnings from him was to fire a few “friends.” I quietly and politely ended “friendships” where that authenticity was missing, where I couldn’t count on them as part of my life team.
Perhaps that sounds extreme to you and I can understand that kind of reaction. My argument is that to the best of anyone’s knowledge, we’re gifted with this life only once and need to make the best of it at all times. Our environment – which includes the people we surround ourselves with – does affect us. So that argues for keeping your environment free of pollution in all its forms including drama, dishonesty and any excess neediness.
So whom do you need to fire to clean up your space?
Of course I’d love to hear your point of view on this principle – or anything else you’d like to talk about. Just comment below.
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
About Being Perfect
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."
Anna Quindlen
"The perfect is the enemy of the good."
Voltaire
"Perfect" directly implies a standard and that standard is usually sourced outside the essential self. Author. Quindlen wrote one of my favorite little books (A Short Guide to a Happy Life) and she's really on to a deep truth here. The real work is becoming ourselves – fully and confidently.
One of my guy friends insists that I read too many "chick books" … that is, books oriented toward female readers. He's also an Oakland Raiders fan so I discount much of what he says to me. I do observe that more women than men get into the trap of trying to be perfect and in so doing, sadly avoid the journey toward full self acceptance.
Author's Note: if you must accuse me of this being a sexist observation, please refrain from an ALL CAPS message. In these electronic communications this means you're yelling and I'm sensitive to that.
"Being perfect" is a fool's errand and often the result of early programming. It's one of those foolish things we adults need to put aside.
Your stories of perfection or just being good or ……… are welcome by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. Passing these messages along to friends and colleagues with your personal recommendation they subscribe is (1) a great way to expand a relationship; and (2) deeply appreciated by your humble scribe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Success Motivation for the New Year
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life -- the life you author from scratch on your own -- begins.
How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make?
Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize?
Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?”
Jeff Bezos
(his Commencement Address at Princeton)
The founder and CEO at Amazon.com knows more than a little about accomplishment! And given the length of the quote and my promise of a one minute read, I’ll be brief.
It’s clear that a commencement ceremony marks an end and a beginning for university students. The energy around our celebration of the New Year offers each of us the same opportunity including new choices, new possibilities ….. assuming we alter our attitudes, habits and behaviors. Like it says in my book, life is simple. However, this does not mean it is easy.
If you would like some assistance in the process of living your extraordinary life, look for my special announcement tomorrow. For now, here’s to an extraordinary New Year for you and yours!
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Have You Lost Your Way?
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.”
Rollo May
And talk faster when we have lost coherent thought?
I founded and led seminar companies where the final experiential exercise for 25 years was an intense questioning of each participant:
“What do you want?”
At a surface level, the answers came easily and are mirrored in the popularity of New Year’s Resolutions like “I want to lose 20 pounds, reduce my debt and spend more time with family.”
Speaking of family, my four youngest children (all in their twenties) joined me in Colorado for the holidays and slowing down with them was a blessing and great fun! I am so very proud of all my children, their accomplishments and who they are becoming as human beings.
At a deeper level, the seminar “what do you want” question often revealed heartfelt yearnings for love of self and others, inner-peace, satisfaction and joy. These are the experiences that occur when we have found our way; when we have become clear about what we really want and are progressing steadily and surely toward actualizing our purpose, vision, values and goals.
Next Monday please look for a special message from me that will include a hopefully irresistible offer to help you become more clear about what you want and how to generate extraordinary achievement.
Here’s to an extraordinary New Year for you and yours!
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Success in 2012 and Always
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
"Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be."
George Sheehan
Our tag line for Extraordinary People LLC is “experience the life you were born to live” so perhaps that explains why I was drawn to contribute George Sheehan’s wisdom this week.
In the Western world many of us are simultaneously celebrating holidays, reflecting on a year about to end and planning for a better, more successful new year. What I would add to Sheehan’s quote was popularized by Abraham Lincoln when he related that given eight hours to cut wood, he’d spend six hours sharpening his axe.
Courage, determination and will are essential. So is preparation. Do your plans for 2012 include reading from the personal development masters, working with a coach or attending educational events? The bumper sticker wisdom is clear and accurate: keep doing what you’ve been doing and you’ll get what you got.
Next week I’ll share some specific ideas to assist you in further success. Till then, enjoy your families and friends. It’s time to celebrate!
Please share anything you feel moved to contribute by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
We Need More Leaders and More Leadership
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“What if there wasn’t anything new anyone needed to learn to be a better leader? What if we were all born with everything it takes to be a highly effective and inspiring leader? The key here is more a function of unlearning (shedding old habits) than learning something new.”
Doug Krug
I love it when I can quote a friend and colleague! Doug’s new book The Missing Piece in Leadership speaks to developing a mindset that will serve us well in leading our families, work teams and community organizations. I recommend it highly.
Facilitating a Young Presidents Organization (YPO) retreat for nine wonderful men last week reminded me of an assertion that I’ve been developing and clarifying for the past few years:
We urgently need more and better leadership at every level of society and WE ARE IT.
Looking to a boss or family elder or political figure for leadership is no longer adequate. We must commit to developing the consciousness and skills of leadership and we can accomplish this through reading, seminars and coaching.
2012 could be a “turning point” year for the United States and much of the world. Restoring our economic vitality will require new and better leadership ….. from you, from me and from many others not normally thought of as leaders.
I have my own plan and commitment and would love to hear your thoughts about leadership and your role …. Or anything you feel moved to contribute by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. Last chance to obtain specially priced signed/inscribed copies of Living an Extraordinary Life as gifts for family, friends and colleagues. Hit reply and I’ll send you volume pricing and details.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Are You Leading a Life of Quiet Desperation?
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
First a personal note: Today I’m on my way to Pebble Beach, CA to lead an executive retreat and wanted to squeeze in a reminder that time is growing short if you’d like to consider my book, Living an Extraordinary Life as a great holiday gift for friends, colleagues and family.
People tell me that it’s a “gift with meaning and value” and recipients really love the book. Quantity discounts and free shipping are my contribution to solving your gift giving problems plus, I give up some free time and abuse my right hand by following your instructions for inscribing and signing copies. Just hit reply and I’ll send you discounted pricing and other details.
And now for your …. “An Extraordinary Minute”
“I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest … to make money they don’t want … to buy things they don’t need … to impress people they dislike.”
Emile Henry Gauvreau
I’m a long way from “perfect” …. whatever perfect means. What I will claim as a strength is that in my life I definitely have not embraced the condition Gauvreau describes above.
Yet in my work including public speaking, leading workshops and executive coaching, I’ve witnessed way too many people leading, as the poet said, “lives of quiet desperation.” It first makes me a bit sad and even angry; but then I roll up my sleeves and go to work with the intention of transforming that hopeless state to one of possibility and promise. Doing that kind of work with people is rewarding beyond my ability to describe the joy and satisfaction it produces
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this …. Or anything you feel moved to contribute by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Leadership Ain't All Roses and Champagne
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“Leadership is about how we shape futures that we truly desire, as opposed to try as best we can to cope with circumstances we believe are beyond our control.“
Peter Senge
The past month has included two unfortunate events that were deeply felt and contained great learning for me and two of my executive coaching clients. Each had a key member of his and her team die suddenly in their early fifties.
Beyond the personal pain for the individual’s families and the grief experienced by their colleagues what I noticed was how unprepared my clients were for the loss of a key, almost irreplaceable contributor to their success. In both circumstances, the individuals played roles crucial to their companies, were shareholders and the company leadership had developed no successor.
The stories were similar: “He’s young, invested in the company and there’s no need to plan and budget for a replacement.” Both of my clients were left to simultaneously cope with their personal and organizational sadness along with scrambling to replace the crucial skills and knowledge they had lost.
It felt really good to serve as a resource to my clients as they worked through these issues. What I was left with was a strong sense that if your organization, your family or a local institution is important to you …. the need is, as Peter Senge recommends, to assume “stuff” is going to happen and “shape futures that we truly desire.”
It’s not about being negative. It’s about effectively dealing with reality in our lives, choosing to lead and not just react.
Your thoughts, as always, are welcome.
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. My book, Living an Extraordinary Life makes a great holiday gift for friends, colleagues and family. People tell me that it’s a “gift with meaning and value” and recipients really love the book. Quantity discounts and free shipping are my contribution to solving your gift giving problems plus, I give up some free time and abuse my right hand by following your instructions for inscribing and signing copies. Just e mail Robert@ExtraordinaryPeople.com and I’ll send you discounted pricing and other details.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Leadership Ain't All Roses and Champagne
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
“Leadership is about how we shape futures that we truly desire, as opposed to try as best we can to cope with circumstances we believe are beyond our control.“
Peter Senge
The past month has included two unfortunate events that were deeply felt and contained great learning for me and two of my executive coaching clients. Each had a key member of his and her team die suddenly in their early fifties.
Beyond the personal pain for the individual’s families and the grief experienced by their colleagues what I noticed was how unprepared my clients were for the loss of a key, almost irreplaceable contributor to their success. In both circumstances, the individuals played roles crucial to their companies, were shareholders and the company leadership had developed no successor.
The stories were similar: “He’s young, invested in the company and there’s no need to plan and budget for a replacement.” Both of my clients were left to simultaneously cope with their personal and organizational sadness along with scrambling to replace the crucial skills and knowledge they had lost.
It felt really good to serve as a resource to my clients as they worked through these issues. What I was left with was a strong sense that if your organization, your family or a local institution is important to you …. the need is, as Peter Senge recommends, to assume “stuff” is going to happen and “shape futures that we truly desire.”
It’s not about being negative. It’s about effectively dealing with reality in our lives, choosing to lead and not just react.
Your thoughts, as always, are welcome by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. My book, Living an Extraordinary Life makes a great holiday gift for friends, colleagues and family. People tell me that it’s a “gift with meaning and value” and recipients really love the book. Quantity discounts and free shipping are my contribution to solving your gift giving problems plus, I give up some free time and abuse my right hand by following your instructions for inscribing and signing copies. Just hit reply and I’ll send you discounted pricing and other details.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I Am So Very Grateful
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "Thank you," that would suffice.
Meister Eckhart
Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.
E.P. Powell
So once in every year we throng
Upon a day apart,
To praise the Lord with feast and song
In thankfulness of heart.
Arthur Guiterman, The First Thanksgiving
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
This is a first … the first time in over 250 weeks that I’ll repeat an Extraordinary Minute. I just couldn’t think of better quotes to celebrate Thanksgiving week in the USA and the power of gratitude in our lives.
I am grateful to so many and for so much in my life. In this context—the Extraordinary Minute folks around the world—I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be in relationship and contribute in my small way to you. Your responses and expressions of interest in my speaking, writing and coaching work fill me with joy and satisfaction.
Wherever you are in the world, it is always a good time to express thanks for all of our blessings. Most of all for the blessing, the gift, that you are to me and to all of the people in your life.
With love and respect,
Robert
..... and please share your gratitudes by commenting!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Power of Purpose as a Success Factor
|
|
by Robert White
|
|
|
|
| |
|
"Purpose is not something we create. Rather, it is something we discover as we pay attention to where our lives are most fulfilling, and where we find the most satisfaction, joy and meaning. Our task is to seek deeper awareness of our purpose as it unfolds over time."
Robert White
I wrote the above for my new book on creating organizational results. As I “sat with it” and reflected on the statement’s truth in my own life and in the lives of my coaching clients, I just had to share it immediately.
There’s a lot of attention paid by authors, seminar leaders and talk show hosts to having a clearly defined and compelling vision. I’m one of the many who teaches, preaches and acts about the value of such a vision. I also don’t believe having a vision is the most important aspect of creating an extraordinary life.
Clarity about purpose meets that definition for me. It is the single most powerful and empowering journey any of us can take – to develop knowledge of our reason for being on this planet, a “deeper awareness of our purpose as it unfolds over time.”
For those who have been involved in an organizational transformation, you already know the impact of greater clarity and commitment to the unique reason your company exists. If your team is not aware of this crucial component of essential and strategic knowledge, you need to “do the work” that will reveal it.
Share about your journey by commenting below.
With love and respect,
Robert
P. S. This week is the final opportunity for a “getting prepared for an extraordinary 2012” check up and review. Complete the personal assessment at http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/WPMJWH6 and then I’ll get back to you about scheduling a no cost 45 minute appointment to review your results.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Subscribe
Email
Print
Permalink
