Friday June 28, 2013
Your knowledge, experience and abilities are the contribution and difference only you can make. Recognizing these qualities and expressing yourself through word and deed is a sure-fire way to improve your results in life.
Many people have been taught to be silent and passive, to “put a lid on it”. Our lessons as children often included messages that what we thought or felt didn’t matter; and often, those early communications have been transformed into self-limiting beliefs that act to limit us as adults in families and workplaces.
Withholding your ideas, objections and point-of-view weakens both your self confidence and the results you want to create with others. It’s a vicious cycle: you withhold, which strengthens self limiting beliefs and then your personal and professional results suffer because your ideas weren’t heard and tested, which further reduces self confidence so the next time you’ll be even less inclined to speak.
Do you depend on others (boss, spouse, trainer) to “draw you out”? That’s a losing game. The other person might not see that role as her responsibility or simply feel that she is too busy to play your game.
How many good ideas have you had in your lifetime for improvement or innovation that you didn’t express or act on? It’s only when people know where you stand by your words and actions that you will attract and engage the others you need to support your vision and create accomplishment.
All accomplishment is rooted in developing your ability to use positive, engaging, powerful and persuasive language, and then act on it. Some simple and powerful tips for doing that are listed below in our Action Steps section.
Extraordinary Living Action Steps
1. First, have something to say. I read that simple advice years ago in a Toastmaster’s public speaking manual and it’s one of the best action steps I can recommend. It requires clarity of your purpose in communicating, the vision you are attempting to enroll others into and the deeper intention of your communication. If your intent is positive, your results will be the same.
2. Choose outcome oriented language. Avoid blame. Those are simple words and very powerful advice. Choose language that focuses yourself and the listener on the positive result you want to create, on what’s possible and on solutions for mutual benefit.
3. Put yourself in the best possible mental, emotional and energetic resource state before you launch an important expression of yourself. Here are some questions that will guide your communication:
- What do I want?
- How will I know when I have it?
- When I get what I want, what else in my life will improve?
- What resources do I have available to help me with this?
- How can I best utilize the resources that I currently have?
- What am I going to begin doing now to get what I want?
- What am I going to communicate first to get what I want?
4. Share feelings as well as facts. Let people know you care about your position and about them. Remember that your words are a small part of total communication. Your passion needs to shine through and demonstrate itself in your energy and your body language.
5. Go for it! Holding back is for people who are planning to fail. Your full self expression is wanted and needed by all the people in your life.
Extraordinary People offers executive coaching and high-impact team development seminars that helps people and organizations improve their personal effectiveness and organizational results. We create powerful, lasting breakthroughs in relationship for people with their "self" (their individual self-esteem, confidence, self-love and natural leadership abilities) and with their families, organizations and communities.
We guarantee it. It’s YOUR CHOICE! No excuses. No blame. No avoiding.